Last week we were making caramel apples and as I was carrying the boiling caramel from the microwave to the counter Charlie jumped up and knocked it out of my hands. The caramel went everywhere. I burned my fingers. George ran from the room screaming. Charlie found the whole thing amusing. Paul took him up to his room and tried to explain how badly he could have been burned, etc. Charlie blamed the whole thing on me. He said, and still maintains: Mom, should have held it up higher.
Tonight George and Charlie took scissors to my leather dinning room chairs. They went to their rooms for the night at 5pm and we are still trying to decide on further punishment. Charlie and I had a little talk about the whole thing and it went something like this...
Me: Do you know why I am so mad about the chairs?
Charlie: Because I ruined them.
Me: Yep
Charlie: Did you cut your chairs when you were a little kid?
Me: No, Charlie, I didn't
Charlie: (said with a wise smirk) I bet you did cut your chairs at least one time.
No remorse from that kid. Not even a little bit.
Here's the list of punishments we've doled out so far:
- Sent to their rooms for the rest of the night
- Cancelled movie night (Friday is our family movie night)
- Grounded from scissors (except at school) for two weeks
- Spanking
- Requirement to turn over all their Christmas money (from grandparents) to us to help pay for the chairs (this was an in the heat of the moment threat but now I am thinking we are going to sell their roller coaster...it makes me sad but I want to do something that will make an impact)
9 comments:
yikes... good luck. I would offer some wise advice but I have none. My kids run circles around me. Selling something to pay for the chairs seems fair though. that or having them "earn" the money to pay for the chairs by doing jobs and such. Good luck. I'm just amazed you didn't beat them. not sure I wouldn't have been able to stop myself.
uh. . . I don't know. I swear I know less about parenting now then I did when I started this whole gig.
I wish I had some wise words for you, but I rarely have any idea what I'm doing as a mother. The only thing that has ever worked with me as far as punishment goes is take away whatever it is they love (like a favorite toy, daddy/daughter night, play date, birthday party, birthday money, baseball game, etc) and then stick to it all the way through. They always know I'm dead serious with my threatened punishment when they mess up. I don't know if that's the right thing, but it works for me. Good luck!
Ugh. I'm so sorry. That no remorse thing is a killer. It just makes you more angry, huh? Megan took scissors to our comforter when she was 5. She "just wanted to see what was in there"! She made patches and helped me sew them on- and was grounded from scissors for a while, too.
Couches aren't comforters. Darn it! I think selling the roller coaster would break their hearts- and leave a lasting impression. :(
Dumb parenting. Why does it have to be so hard?!?
I agree with Lara-- the longer I do this crazy thing, the less I know!
Good luck and let us know what you decide and how it turns out. I'm so glad we all have each other to learn from! Miss you!!!
Holy cow!! My friend had a similar bout of events but resorted to tying her kids to the chairs with raffia and having a "mom time-out" on the porch...she was not proud of this moment by the way. You did amazingly well under the circumstances. I think the selling of the roller coaster sounds like a pretty effective attention getter. Sad yes, but effective.
I think selling the roller coaster is the best way to go. Sure you could take their Christmas money, but they only had the money and didn't have some great present that they bought with the money. If you sell the roller coaster it will be sad, but they will for sure feel the punishment for what they've done. Let me know how it goes.
Hmmmm. I don't know what to tell you either. I am not the disciplinarian of our house.....my husband does much better with that. He tends to believe in the "reprove with harshness and follow up with love" theory. I feel like after parenting for now 11 years, I have been through every method possible to get my kids to listen and be good. I find that embarrassing them tends to work quite well. The roller coaster seems like a good thing to take away but wouldn't that be punishing you as well, since you paid for it and it entertains them?? Hard stuff. One thing that always works for us is when my kids physically harm one another, they have to do physical punishment i.e., running laps around the house, push-ups, sit-ups, etc....(they have amazing abs I tell you!)
Good luck and please let us know how things turn out! (My kids are extremely talented at wood-carving.....most of our furniture has nice things carved, complete with the artist's signature)
Never a dull moment! You have some very clever boys on your hands.
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