This little ditty arrived in my inbox today:
Very simply, Amy, the more that you accept responsibility for, the more power you have.
Doesn't that rock?
Love,
The Universe
I am not really the type of person to censor myself (I like to swear when it is comically necessary or I am really worked up and there is no other alternative and I know that I sometimes share inappropriate poop and family drama stories because I just can't help myself) but I have definitely been delivering an edited version of myself to the blogisphere. And that is okay and I am pretty sure that most of us do the same but I am starting to feel like this here blog may be an important ingredient in the personalized anti-depression repellent I am trying to develop. I am not a novice and I know that depression can't really be repelled but I also know that the more resources I have available to me when the going gets dark the easier it will be to find things to hold on to until that glimmer of light decides to show up.
Thank you friends. I love you.
And because I can't resist...
A Charlie-ism from yesterday:
Me: deep sigh (taken while in the process of cleaning large amounts of poop off Charlie's crib)
Charlie: Mom, why you say, hmmhmmm?
Me: Oh, I am just tired.
Charlie: You not tired! I tired! That poop woke my nap!
11 comments:
I like the Amy that doesn't censor herself. Also, you should be grateful that poo didn't wake you up from your nap. Charlie has a rough life.
Poop. Funny.
I totally get the whole what is appropriate to blog about issue. I have written blogs about it. But frankly. I think in the end it is your blog. . . So blog whatever the hell you want. It's your sounding board. Your scrapbook/journal of your life. Readers get have that insight into your daily experience and that is what makes blogging so special and that is what connects people. I just order a blurb of my blog and I decided to keep all my "negative" post in. I want my kids to know what my real daily experience is. Life is not a fairytale and I don't want them to have that expectation. The darkness is what makes the light so bright. What is joy without pain? Because in the end it will be worth it. Because in the end we have way more good days then bad. And sometimes, some people fight freakin' hard for their happiness. And good for us.
Yup. I agree with La on this. My mom kept massive journals while we were growing up and rarely wrote anything about the hard stuff/junk that she had to have gone through raising so many kids. I wish she had shown a few of her flaws so that I would feel more normal in the moments when I want to throw in the towel. Knowing that you are human and go through hard stuff too just makes all your true friends rally around you. Hang in there, girl. The poop stage will pass and before you know it they will have moved on to other equally disturbing behaviors.
LOL- loved the poop story.. too funny!
Hang in there, I'm glad you've decided to keep it all real... those who read your story will learn the most from your challenges and triumphs! No one's life is without hardships and frustration, no matter how much they may try to make it appear that way...
Oh.. and if it makes you feel any better, I too find myself cleaning up poop and pee messes on a daily basis and sometimes more than once a day. Every time I find another one.. I just wish I could step back. close the door. and rewind that moment in time.. but instead I have to put a clothes pin on my nose, get out the anti-bacterial wipes, heat up the water for cleaning the carpet with the water-vac (which I'm SO thankful we have)... and go to work, yet again!!!
I also get tired of poop.... but that is a pretty funny story!
I'm glad to hear that you are feeling a little bit better. Everyone has their "funks" but especially if they share our maiden last name. Hopefully it makes you feel better to know that you can blame your ancestry.
Man, you know how to express yourself in words. You totally need to do it more often. I was hooked at "sad fog with scattered anxiety," and then kept reading and nodding my head. I'm not going to start blogging to break out of my regular funks, but maybe I'll unload on your blog. Thanks.
Oh, Charlie, I can't wait to meet you, sans the poop, please.
That is hilarious!!! Love it. It's a good thing comments like these brighten our day somewhat.
I'm right there with you about this whole depression thing. Sometimes I feel like 2 completely different people...dependant on good days or bad days.
I love that you are being real. It does help to know that you are not alone in your struggles. I have also had my share of "issues" but am not brave enough to blog about it! It can be tough having 2 young kids close in age. Esp. when you were used to having a career before kids. You don't get all the appreciation/recognition. I think I relate to you this way...It gets a easier the older they get. ANd when they are potty trained.:) Cut yourself some slack and take care of yourself. Know that your writing is helping others.
First, the poop story is great! LOL! Secondly, bravo to you for reaching out for some help and saying, hey, I need some. This is something that is so hard for me to do, yet, I have realized what a difference it makes in my life when I receive help from family and friends. I hope you are having a great day.
wow! i loved what laura had to say. she is such a great sister.
once again amy, know that i love you. call me if you ever need anything...
i LOVE charlie's poop story.
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